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Why I’m Not Raising My Son in One Religion—And Why That’s Okay
Mindful Parenting Over Dogma: Why I’m Raising My Son in All Faiths
People often ask me, What faith are you raising your son in? It’s a fair question, especially because I grew up in a strict Catholic household, and my husband is Jewish. But my answer isn’t what most expect. I’m raising my son with all faiths, all cultures, and most importantly—core values that transcend religion.
I know that not everyone agrees with this choice. Some people believe children need to be raised within a structured religion to have moral grounding. Others assume that without a formal faith, my son will be lost.
But what I’ve learned is that faith is not the only path to raising a good human. In fact, not all children raised within a faith become ‘good’ simply because of religious teachings. Without the ability to explore the darker parts of themselves—to question, to struggle, to integrate their emotions—they may lack the self-awareness necessary for true growth.
In fact, I believe mindful parenting—giving children the tools to navigate life with wisdom, kindness, and strength—is what truly prepares them for the world. And that’s exactly what I’m doing.
Mindful Parenting: Giving My Son the Tools for Life
At its core, parenting—especially mindful parenting—is about giving children the tools they need to navigate life on their own one day. I cannot control the world my son will inherit, but I can prepare him for it.
I can teach him how to be resilient, how to recognize his own emotions, how to make decisions rooted in kindness and wisdom. I can show him how to embrace both his light and dark sides, to make conscious choices instead of reacting from fear or pain. These tools—compassion, open-mindedness, self-awareness—are what will help him build a meaningful life and contribute goodness to the world around him.
Another crucial lesson I want to teach him is how to handle disappointment and failure. Life doesn’t always go as planned—we don’t get everything we want, and challenges will arise. (Current disappointment — not getting the Goo Jit Zu toy he saw in the garage) Instead of fearing failure, I want him to learn how to adapt, pivot, and roll with it. Resilience isn’t about avoiding setbacks; it’s about learning from them, growing stronger, and continuing forward.
Because in the end, that’s what parenting really is: not controlling, not dictating, but guiding. Giving our children what they need to find their own way, to become the best versions of themselves, and to carry forward the values that make the world a better place.
More Than Religion: Finding Meaning in Many Paths
Many religions claim to have the “one true way.” But what if truth isn’t meant to be singular? What if it’s a collection of experiences, stories, and lessons that humanity has carried for centuries? Instead of forcing my son into one particular faith, I want to give him the freedom to learn from all perspectives—Buddhism’s mindfulness, Christianity’s love and compassion, Judaism’s deep-rooted traditions, Hinduism’s exploration of self, Islam’s discipline, and Indigenous spirituality’s connection to nature.
At the same time, I don’t claim to have all the answers. I’m still learning, still unlearning, still figuring things out as I go. My upbringing in the Catholic faith gave me some good foundational values—the importance of kindness, gratitude, and the curiosity of something bigger than us. But it also left me with wounds I’m still unraveling. Shame, fear, and a sense of never being “enough” were ingrained in ways I didn’t even realize until adulthood. Healing from that has taken time, and it’s still a process. I don’t reject faith, but I also don’t blindly follow it. And I know everyone’s journey with faith (or lack of it) is deeply personal. I’m not here to judge. Just don’t be an asshat!
Guiding Values, Not Rules: The Universal Morals That Matter
Rather than a single religious doctrine, I want my son to be raised with values that guide him no matter where life takes him:
Kindness: Treating others with care and respect, regardless of background or belief.
Compassion: Seeking to understand before judging.
Curiosity: Never stopping the quest for knowledge and self-discovery.
Gratitude: Appreciating what we have instead of fixating on what we lack.
Open-mindedness: Being willing to hear different perspectives.
Acceptance: Recognizing that differences make the world richer, not more divided.
Empathy: Feeling deeply and using that awareness to uplift others.
Integrity: Doing the right thing even when no one is watching.
Resilience: Facing challenges with strength and a willingness to learn.
Inspiration: Living in a way that ignites hope and possibility in others.
These values aren’t exclusive to any one faith—they are universal. They are what make a person truly awake, truly free.
But values don’t come from simply hearing about them. They come from seeing them in action. That’s why mindful parenting is so important—it’s about modeling the behavior we hope to instill in our children.
Learning From Our Shadows, Not Fearing Them
Most religions teach that there is good and evil, light and dark. But often, the approach is to fear or suppress the darkness rather than understand it. I want my son to know that his shadows do not make him bad—they make him whole.
He will feel anger, sadness, doubt, and fear. But instead of shaming him for these emotions, I want to teach him how to work with them, understand them, and grow from them. Because true strength isn’t about ignoring our darkness—it’s about choosing to work with it, to turn it into something meaningful.
Honestly, it reminds me of Venom—yes, the comic book character. In the movie, Eddie Brock learns that fighting against the symbiote only creates more chaos, but when he learns to work with it, he finds balance. It’s a perfect metaphor for life: we all have parts of ourselves that could be destructive if left unchecked, but when we integrate them—when we understand and work with them instead of suppressing them—we become stronger, more whole. It’s not about being all light or all dark; it’s about balance and knowing how to use both sides of ourselves wisely.
Navigating a World Filled With Pain
The world is filled with so much pain—war, violence, injustices, tragedies beyond what we can comprehend. I know these things are happening, even though I don’t actively consume the news because it has become a constant stream of sorrow. But just because I don’t engage with it daily doesn’t mean I don’t care. It means I have chosen to channel my energy where I can make a difference.
I may not be able to stop wars or end suffering, but I can be a good human. I can raise my son to be kind, compassionate, and strong enough to make the world better in his own way. I can write, share ideas, and connect with people in ways that inspire growth and understanding. It’s my way of sending light into a world that sometimes feels consumed by darkness. Because I believe change starts with the small things: with one kind person, one meaningful conversation, one act of goodness at a time.
The Freedom to Choose & The Invitation to Reflect
One day, my son will decide his own path. Whether he finds meaning in one faith, multiple, or none at all, my goal isn’t to make that decision for him—it’s to give him the tools to make that decision for himself.
I want him to walk through life unafraid of the unknown, open to learning, and deeply grounded in who he is.Because at the end of the day, we are all just trying to live the best way we know how. And that, to me, is the greatest faith of all.
And as for me? I’m still figuring it out, too. I’m still learning, still healing, still choosing every day to live with kindness and curiosity. I don’t have all the answers—but I do know that respecting each person’s journey, including my own, is the most important lesson of all.
What about you? What values do you hold close, no matter your faith or upbringing?
"The journey is where you grow."
Parenting is hard. No one has all the answers, but we can learn, grow, and do better—together. Here are some incredible books, resources, and support options to help you on this journey.
- Greater Good Science Center (UC Berkeley): How Parental Communication Shapes Emotional Intelligence – Research-based insights on how kids absorb the way we speak and interact.
- Psychology Today: Teaching Kids How to Disagree Respectfully – Practical advice on modeling and encouraging respectful conversations.
Harvard Center on the Developing Child: The Impact of Early Experiences on Brain Development – A fascinating look at how the early years shape a child’s emotional and social well-being.
- How to Raise A Good Human: The Power of Mindful Parenting –Raising the Next Generation: Why Our Words and Actions Matter More Than We Think
Books on Raising Kind, Emotionally Intelligent, and Resilient Kids
I am a big believer of keeping books and bookstores alive, but sometimes the convenience of Amazon is nice. lol So I have provided two options if you wanted to grab your own copy from a local store. Every purchase through Bookshop financially supports your local and independent bookstores near you! Or if you get all your books through Amazon (you don’t need to explain your reasons) I have also linked it through Amazon.
I make sure that I support local bookstores the best I can by purchasing some of my books through them when I can, but Amazon is a great resource too. So you know, it’s called balance…just like everything in life. 🙂
The Whole-Brain Child
12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
By: Tina Payne Bryson + Daniel J. Siegel
A must-read for understanding how children’s brains develop and how we can nurture emotional intelligence from a young age.
Raising Good Humans
A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids
By: Hunter Clarke-Fields + Carla Naumburg
This book dives deep into mindfulness-based parenting, helping you stay calm while teaching kids emotional regulation. Added benefit…you’ll also be more emotionally regulated 🙂
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
Learn How to Communicate With Your Child Effectively and Respectfully
By: Adele Faber + Elaine Mazlish
A classic book on communicating with kids in a way that fosters respect, understanding, and cooperation. I found my copy in one of the “Free Little Libraries” around the neighborhood and it was from 1999:)
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