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How to Raise a Good Human: The Power of Parenting with Mindfulness
Raising the Next Generation: Why Our Words and Actions Matter More Than We Think
Parenting Is Hard, But So Is Undoing a Broken Society
If there’s one thing I’ve learned since becoming a parent, it’s that everything we say and do matters—sometimes more than we realize.
I’m constantly reading, absorbing, and trying to figure out how not to screw up my kid mentally. I want to raise a child who is kind, capable, compassionate, strong, and—above all—a good human. I want my son to be someone who respects different viewpoints, has a growth mindset, and doesn’t judge or tear others down.
Because let’s be real—there are too many people (ahem, mostly white men in power, but that’s another conversation) who have built their identities around hate, entitlement, and the inability to respectfully disagree. And honestly? It’s exhausting. But instead of just complaining about it, I see it as a wake-up call for parents everywhere.
Children aren’t born with hate. They learn it. Society shapes them—either intentionally or unintentionally. And as parents, the most powerful thing we can do is be mindful of the messages we’re passing down. (I had to learn this the hard way with my kid)
So we have to do better. We have to be the example. Because if we don’t teach our kids kindness, empathy, and respect at home, the world will teach them division, intolerance, and ignorance instead.
How We Talk to Our Children (and About Others) Shapes Who They Become
Think about it. If a child constantly hears negativity—whether it’s about a spouse, a co-worker, or a stranger—they internalize that.
- When they hear us snap at our partners, they learn impatience.
- When they hear us belittle someone, they learn that kindness is conditional.
- When they see us dismiss emotions, they learn that vulnerability is weakness.
But what if instead…
- They saw us handle conflict with grace and respect?
- They heard us disagree with someone without tearing them down?
- They watched us model self-awareness, kindness, and accountability?
The way we treat our spouses, talk about our coworkers, react to strangers, and discuss the world around us all play a role in shaping how our children view and navigate life.
So let’s give them something better to learn from. And don’t worry… I’m not a perfect parent lol I make a TON of mistakes daily, but I’m also a parent who realized that my son deserves better, and this world deserves better.
Practical Ways to Raise a Kinder, Stronger, More Emotionally Intelligent Child
Want to raise a child who will help heal the world instead of adding to its problems? Here are some simple yet powerful ways to start raising a kind human.
1. Speak About People the Way You Want Your Child to Speak About Others
Even when you’re frustrated. Even when someone deserves an eye roll. Because your child is watching.
Instead of: “Ugh, your dad is being impossible today.”
Try: “Dad and I are figuring something out. We don’t agree, but we’ll work through it.”
Instead of: “That guy is an idiot.”
Try: “I don’t agree with what he did, but that’s his choice.”
Instead of: “Your teacher is so unfair.”
Try: “I see why you’re frustrated. How can we handle this respectfully?”
Kids mirror what they hear. Give them language that fosters respect, not resentment.
2. Teach Them How to Disagree Without Hate
Respectful disagreement is a skill—and one that many adults still don’t have. If we want the next generation to do better, we need to model how to stand firm in our beliefs without attacking others.
Instead of: “That’s stupid. You’re wrong.”
Try: “I see it differently, and here’s why.”
Instead of: “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Try: “That’s an interesting perspective. Have you thought about it this way?”
Let’s teach them that conversations don’t have to be battles.
3. Encourage Emotional Intelligence and Self-Awareness
Children need to know that having emotions is normal and that handling them in a healthy way is a skill. If we don’t teach them how to process feelings now, they’ll struggle with them as adults. And let’s be real… Most of the population doesn’t know how to deal with their emotions in a healthy way. But guess what… it’s never too late to start 🙂
Instead of: “Stop crying. You’re fine.”
Try: “I see you’re upset. Want to talk about it?”
Instead of: “That’s not a big deal.”
Try: “It sounds like this really matters to you. How can I help?”
Instead of: “You’re being dramatic.”
Try: “Let’s take a breath and figure this out together.”
When we validate our children’s emotions, we teach them to process instead of suppress.
4. Model Kindness and Accountability in Your Own Relationships
Want your child to be kind? Show them what kindness looks like.
- Say “thank you” to your partner, even for the little things.
- Apologize when you mess up—because kids need to see that adults make mistakes too.
- Speak about others with compassion, even when they’re difficult.
The way you treat your partner and those around you is a direct lesson for your child. Make it a good one.
5. Show Them That Strength Isn’t About Power—It’s About Character
The world doesn’t need more people who believe strength = dominance. It needs more people who believe strength = doing the right thing, even when it’s hard.
- Teach them that kindness isn’t weakness.
- Teach them that standing up for others and themselves is always worth it.
- Teach them that being strong means knowing who you are and treating others with respect—even when they don’t do the same.
Because raising strong children isn’t about making them the loudest in the room—it’s about giving them the emotional intelligence and resilience to navigate a messy world, stay true to their values, and choose compassion even when faced with unkindness.
Healing Starts With You: How Therapy Can Help You Be the Parent You Want to Be
Let’s be honest—parenting can be overwhelming, and if you ever feel like you need extra help, there is NO shame in reaching out to a professional. In fact, seeking support is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your child.
Whether you need guidance in parenting, managing stress, or healing your own emotional wounds, therapy can help.
Online Therapy Options:
If in-person therapy feels out of reach or you prefer the flexibility of online support, platforms like Calmerry and Online-Therapy.com offer convenient and affordable ways to connect with licensed professionals. Whether you need someone to talk to, structured CBT-based therapy, or coping tools, these platforms can help.
✨ Special Offer: Use code THERAPY20 for 20% off at Online-Therapy.com. And CARE20 for 20% off at Calmerry. Plus they now have financial aid options!
Therapy isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s an investment in your well-being and your child’s future. The more we heal ourselves, the better we can show up for them.💙
"The journey is where you grow."
Helpful Articles & External Resources
Parenting is hard. No one has all the answers, but we can learn, grow, and do better—together. Here are some incredible books, resources, and support options to help you on this journey.
- Greater Good Science Center (UC Berkeley): How Parental Communication Shapes Emotional Intelligence – Research-based insights on how kids absorb the way we speak and interact.
- Psychology Today: Teaching Kids How to Disagree Respectfully – Practical advice on modeling and encouraging respectful conversations.
Harvard Center on the Developing Child: The Impact of Early Experiences on Brain Development – A fascinating look at how the early years shape a child’s emotional and social well-being.
Books on Raising Kind, Emotionally Intelligent, and Resilient Kids
I am a big believer of keeping books and bookstores alive, but sometimes the convenience of Amazon is nice. lol So I have provided two options if you wanted to grab your own copy from a local store. Every purchase through Bookshop financially supports your local and independent bookstores near you! Or if you get all your books through Amazon (you don’t need to explain your reasons) I have also linked it through Amazon.
I make sure that I support local bookstores the best I can by purchasing some of my books through them when I can, but Amazon is a great resource too. So you know, it’s called balance…just like everything in life. 🙂
The Whole-Brain Child
12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
By: Tina Payne Bryson + Daniel J. Siegel
A must-read for understanding how children’s brains develop and how we can nurture emotional intelligence from a young age.
Raising Good Humans
A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids
By: Hunter Clarke-Fields + Carla Naumburg
This book dives deep into mindfulness-based parenting, helping you stay calm while teaching kids emotional regulation. Added benefit…you’ll also be more emotionally regulated 🙂
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
Learn How to Communicate With Your Child Effectively and Respectfully
By: Adele Faber + Elaine Mazlish
A classic book on communicating with kids in a way that fosters respect, understanding, and cooperation. I found my copy in one of the “Free Little Libraries” around the neighborhood and it was from 1999:)
Final Thoughts: We Can’t Control the World, But We Can Shape the Future
The world can feel like a mess sometimes. But we are not powerless.
As parents, as caregivers, as humans—we have the ability to raise a generation that is better, kinder, and more capable of healing what’s broken.
That change starts with us. With the way we speak. With the way we listen. With the way we model what it means to be good humans.
So let’s do the hard work now, so our kids don’t have to undo the damage later.
Want More Mindful Parenting & Good Vibes?
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